my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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