I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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