found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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