thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
