Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
