Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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