She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
