You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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