you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
