here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize