It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
