i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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