I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
