I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
