we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All the doctor said was why
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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