you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize