I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
