GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
