Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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