She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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