The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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