Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize