So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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