it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize