Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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