drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
