Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
