what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
