It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
