what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
