Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
3pm strippers are depressing
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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