Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
