Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
