I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
