You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
40s are totally the cure
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
