so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
