I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rumble strips road head = magical
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
