at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
there is puke in my bra ... again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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