Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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