I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
