CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
