Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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