What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
