Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
