My liver just broke up with me...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
