wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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