hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
