the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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