i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize