we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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