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I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
