I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
no you cant smoke seaweed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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