No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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