I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
