Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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