I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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