worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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