Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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